Every time I attend a wedding I witness guests dragging gifts out of their cars, into the ceremony, back to their car and finally back to the reception where they are grateful to plop it on the gift table and walk away, for good. I keep thinking to myself, wedding gifts will make a great topic, I should write about it...but then I forget until I'm attending another wedding.
This past weekend I attended the wedding of two very dear friends as a guest and not as their planner and, as in the past, I witnessed the same ritual of guests bringing gifts to the wedding...the only painful difference, this was a destination wedding, meaning gifts were purchased and dragged long distances before parting ways with the giver.
Can I unburden all you future guests with a few simple words of advice...don't bring gifts to a wedding! I'm not certain where this tradition began or why but it has to stop. Emily Post, Martha Stewart, Miss Manners and me, The Wacky Wedding Planner all agree wedding gifts should be shipped to the couple before the wedding or up to three months after, the socially acceptable time in which to acknowledge the marriage.
Briefly, here are just a few of the problems with gifts at a wedding:
- Security - this is a biggie...gifts and cards have been targeted by thieves even at the finest country clubs
- Cards get torn off and separated from the gift simply by moving them around to make more room on gift tables
- Breakage - packages can be inadvertently pushed off the gift table when another gift giver is making room for their own
- Storage - gift tables are usually a 6 or 8 foot banquet table and when its full, where do the other gifts go
- Moving them at the end of the night...who's going to do it and how
Put yourself in the couples shoes. After an exhausting and hyper-emotionally-charged day, who wants to deal with dozens of bulky, awkward and often-times heavy boxes or bags? Certainly not the couple themselves...they have a date with a honeymoon suite and bottle of bubbly. What about the bridal party? Guest what - they're exhausted too and probably don't even have a vehicle at their disposal so now what...the parents?
Unfortunately, the parents are usually the only option and it isn't fair. As a wedding planner my staff and I will assist these unfortunates with the task of loading their vehicles with the gifts, but it only goes so far. We can't be at their homes to unload the gifts and it isn't prudent to leave them in a car overnight so the parents end up unloading the gifts before calling it a night.
Therefore, I call upon all you future wedding guests to leave your gifts at home and make other delivery arrangements. The happy couple and their parents will value your gift even more so.
(Image from mywedding.com) Thank you - 
